Yesterday I didnt have the emotional or physical strength to get online and post about our appointment. It seems like everytime we see someone the news keeps getting worse and worse. The appointment started with the nurse doing the ultrasound and Sophia looked beautiful. We were all smiles watching her on the tv's they had placed all around the room. My son Daniel just keept looking at his sister making comments like, "I see her ribs, her spine, etc...." During the scan the doctor came in and started performing her measurments and looking around on Sophia. At one point she measured her RIGHT ARM! Yes, her right arm and my husband jumped up and said, "Wait, you found it!?" The the doctors next words will haunt me for the rest of my life..... She said that she has both arms but they are severely deformed. Her right arm is much smaller than her left but both arms have severe defects and what is supposed to be her right hand only hase a curved bone, no fingers. Her left hand only has what looks to be two fingers, maybe, but nothing more. Her femur is measuring weeks behind the rest of her body and that the rest of her body is still small. Her femur measured to be about 3 weeks behind and the rest of her measured to be about 2 weeks behind.

We ended up doing the amnio yesterday as well as being put into a research study to test for abnormalities that the amnio can not pick up. We will have the preliminary results of the amnio today, the amnios standard results next week, and the research study results the following week. At this point the doctors are just trying to put a name to whats going on with Sophia. The high risk doc said what ever it is seems to be VERY rare and it doesnt bring anything to mind right off the bat. We will also be getting a fetal MRI within the next few weeks. Today we will know if it's trisomy 13 or 18. Once we know what Sophia has we can start the next "phase" of what we need to do. I asked the doctor if it looks like we are going to loose her during the pregnancy if we can induce so that I can hold her while she's alive and she said that my insurance will not cover it.

After the amnio I was sent to the hospital for monitoring and was having contractions so they had to give me something to stop me from contracting. I felt like a pin cushion yesterday.... The amnio wasnt all that bad. Sophia urinated during the amnio so we got to see her pee. I guess at times like this you appreciate EVERYTHING. Looking at her urine all I could think is that might be the only time I'll see it. I kept watching them take out the fluid/urine and the nurse was surprised. She said I'm the only patient she's had that watched that being done. Again, I say, at times like this you appreciate every little detail.

Today I have an appointment to see my regular OB. I'll take my glucose test and discuss yesterday with him. I dont know why I'm going. I feel like my world has been turned upside down.